Jimmy Hardcastle falls asleep smoking. Within minutes the flames are upon him. A crowd gathers on the sidewalk, watching Jimmy burn down. Jimmy is yelling for someone to bring him an ax. He thinks if he had an ax he could hack off his legs, cut the fire off at the knees, but there is no ax and soon the flames are waist high. The fire department says there is nothing they can do for Jimmy. They say Jimmy wants to burn, they are almost certain of it, and besides, Jimmy is highly flammable. The firemen wear long flame-retardent coats the colors of fire: deep reds and yellows. Jimmy is not flame-retardent and pretty soon there is less and less of Jimmy and more and more of the fire.  It is a pitiful thing to watch, Jimmy’s dying, and the crowd shuffles their feet as the certainty of his fate becomes apparent. Finally around ten the hot dog vendors show up, a testament to Jimmy’s staying power. Jimmy can barely be seen now as the flames lick at the curls above his ears and leap up to singe his eyebrows. Echoes of “jump” rise from the crowd as the firemen unfurl a parachute but it is a faint-hearted display: there will be no leap to safety. Jimmy is going all the way. Jimmy is paralyzed, peering over his nose at the crowd below, then retreats deep within himself. In the morning all that will be left is a charred spot on the corner where Jimmy stood.

Watching Jimmy Die from The Bible of Lost Pets, Jamey Dunham